I almost closed it. Then I realised how much people loved it.

Most people anyway.

Note: I’ve deliberately left out images of Group photos in this article, to protect the privacy of others. Darlo Darlings remains a closed private Facebook Group.

Hindsight is rarely helpful, but looking back over nine years leading a community group that came to a close for me more than a month ago, I knew it was time to hand over the reins to fresh energy. In retrospect, that was a far better option than closing it down, something I considered many times over the past few years. The people who appreciated it always made that decision difficult, because I did not want to let them down.

One walk, one idea, one very impulsive group creation.

Darlinghurst and Surry Hills never really had their own dedicated  group for locals, and in particular a place for businesses to share their stories and interact with locals. That same day, I had read a story about Natalie Wood from Bourke Street, Surry Hills, who died alone and was left in her home for years, with no friends and no local connections.

“Walking down William Street one day, my partner said, why don’t you start your own group? You could call it Darlo Darlings. By the time we reached Hyde Park, the group was created. By the time we got home to Darlo, around a dozen people had joined.”

Nearly eleven thousand members and almost nine years later, I still remember feeling excited at the time, thinking people actually do want something like this to be part of. A group where judging others is not allowed, where neighbours are not agitated by sensationalism, and where people are not brought down. Instead, they wanted an inclusive and authentic place to connect safely, a place where people could have fun and be lifted up.

You can never make everyone happy. Trust me, I tried.

The group grew fast. It was great, good, terrible. I have high expectations of myself, and I always had highly optimistic expectations that others would follow the group rules.

To a large extent, that was the case, but certainly not always. I often felt I had let people down when I did not allow certain posts that were geared to set people off and ignite debate. But that was never why the group was created.

“You need to realise that people can get very obsessed with Facebook group communities, to a point where it becomes very unhealthy, in what they share, how it shapes the way they think, and how they interact with their neighbours.”

Dogs, garbage bins, noise, supermarkets, ibis birds, e-bikes, helicopters, development applications and so much more. All completely normal topics. All somehow capable of starting a 200-comment thread.

Where to begin? A big thing to understand in a community group like Darlo Darlings is that every person is different and obviously has their own view on things that may seem trivial to others, and vice versa. I always tried to take an open mind to most things, however I drew a hard line on other areas that were clearly geared to cause problems or agitate the group for whatever reason.

It is not difficult to manage, however I have long lost count of the random messages I would get from people wanting their posts approved when they clearly were not in line with the group values. I guess the saying you can never make everyone happy is completely true.

Respecting everyone’s differences was something I actively encouraged and reminded members of, always.

The moments that mattered

Of course, there were many great times and wonderful things that brought people together, including the many events we hosted in person, and the many online events we hosted during COVID, which were well attended by group members and special guests, some including Lord Mayor Clover Moore, Deputy Lord Mayor, Jess Scully, Alex Greenwich MP for Sydney, comedians, magicians, and who can forget the fabulous online dinners and cocktails, health and wellness sessions, and all the parties at our fabulous local businesses and prize giveaways.

“One of my favourites was the Easter bun giveaway at Infinity Bakery many years ago, and the free coffees from Tropicana. So simple, but I remember how much people loved it.”

To be honest, there were way too many great moments to squeeze into one article, but if you search Google for Darlo Darlings, a couple that the media picked up on might pop up. The stolen flowers from Crown Street is one I’ll always remember, and how quickly we made sure the residents didn’t have missing plants for very long.

But the real heart of it was never just the funny moments. It was the charity focus and the events. It was the Darlo Pantry, supporting Girls & Boys Brigade, helping out with Pass It On clothing and Rough Edges, One Meal Makes a Difference and so many others. It was the collaboration with Surry Hills Police and local businesses, and working alongside the Surry Hills Business Partnership to enhance the neighbourhood and create genuine interactions between people.

“And honestly, one of the biggest highlights was watching how people interacted and connected with each other in the group, and actually became friends in real life. That happened at the Christmas events, at the theatre nights, and at so many little meet-ups in between. And who can forget the fabulous Artists of Postcode 2010 exhibition, and Jonny Allen’s Pizza events and Covid deliveries. Way too many moments to list.”

I was especially proud to receive two Statements of Recognition from the NSW Government, and the mentions in other articles and initiatives, and of course the Green Park AIDS Memorial and park revitalisation that is about to commence work.

When I said it was great, good, and terrible, there were some terrible moments.

For the sake of keeping this uplifting, I won’t get into all of those. What I will say is this, I was screamed at on the street a few times, gossiped about, and targeted in Facebook groups from time to time. I put it down to the fact that there are some people with a real sense of entitlement, and sadly, that does create fear and anxiety in those they target.

“I’m not holding onto any of that. It’s part of the story, but it’s not the story. There were a handful of terrible moments, but they’re long forgotten now. They never got to outstay the good ones. A bit like bad party guests, they show up, make a scene, and leave, while the good moments carry on.”

Passing it on.

That said, I had been looking for someone to take over Darlo Darlings for some time and did reach out to a few people who did not want to take on such a responsibility for varying reasons. I was so happy when Ace and Theresa, original members of Darlo Darlings, agreed to take over the group and its sister Instagram account. Their passion for all things community and Darlo, Surry Hills and fringe suburbs is something special, and the group could not be in better hands.

I know that with fresh energy after almost nine years at my helm, the group will go from strength to strength and continue to provide a safe space for locals and local businesses.

A huge thank you to all the friends I made, to the local businesses and charities that were part of the group, and to everyone who interacted positively to make others’ lives better and feel more connected. A special thanks to Gabrielle Miles who did an amazing job in supporting the moderating and managing of the Group.

You can follow Darlo Darlings on Instagram, or search for the Group on Facebook.

Keep looking out for one another.

Mike.